Rant: Anti-Obama

Okay, so I have a few posts to catch up on in order to win the Ultimate Blog Challenge. To do that, I'm going to dedicate a couple of these to rants. I happen to be one of those people who likes to share their opinion, whether it's needed or not. So, if you don't want to read it, feel free to look away now.

I have a major problem with all of the Anti-Obama talk I've been hearing lately. Now, if you have always been a republican and just do not like democrats, I understand. To be honest, republicans do not have a lot going for them in their corner this year. I think that was proven in the Iowa caucus earlier this week. The clowns they have running for red candidate are ridiculous. I would love to know where they dug these people up. They are pretty entertaining to watch. I feel bad for the people who actually believe the crap that is being spewed from their voice holes.

Why have people turned on Obama? There are several reasons I have seen around. First off, he bailed out the banks. Yes, he did do that. What would have happened if the banks didn't get bailed out? The only historical thing that we could relate it to would be the Great Depression of 1929. Yes, it would have been that bad. 19 months after 30 billion dollars was given by the Federal Reserve, industrial production rate was still 14 percent below it's peak in 2007. When the Great Depression happened, industrial production was 54 percent below it's peak. Think of how quickly that would have happened if they hadn't gotten bailed out. They didn't think it could happen back then, but it did. It could have happened in 2008, and it would have.

Next thing people like to say Obama is doing wrong is health care. I know, how dare he try to instill some crazy socialist program into our democracy? We don't support that communist mumbo jumbo over here in 'Merica! News flash, if you went to a public school, hung out in a public park, or gone to check out a book at your local library, you are supporting socialism at it's best. Social programs are things like public education, public transportation, public parks, rest areas, etc. These are all things that everyone pays for so that they can take part in their convenience. Tell me, why would it be so awful to have nation wide health care? While we're at it, why can't we put more money into education and take some out of things like defense? We have a pretty well equipped military, I'm not saying let's take food away from a soldier, but do we really need another super high tech robot drone? There's other areas to cut spending, this, of course, was just an example.

I'm not going to get into everything people say, it would take me all night to defend everything people say he's done wrong. Bottom line, he will make mistakes. He is human, after all. One thing people neglect to realize is that he is not the sole person running our country. A lot of people put the blame on the nation symbol (president) but, who really gets those bills onto Obama's desk? Who is shutting down democratic ideas and things that would boost the economy left and right? It's Congress, people. Congress runs your country and they do it through you. The polarization in Congress right now is awful. Republicans have had the upper-hand for the past few years and they simply will not budge when it comes to anything democratic. These are people that everyone elects. My suggestion is, if you want to see something done:

1. Talk to your senator or representative. Tell them you are a concerned constituent and that you don't like certain things that aren't being done. Tell them about specific bills. Write them, email them, call them, or stop by in a local office. They are there to listen to you. They have to, its kind of their job.
2. Join an interest group that is geared towards what you stand for. It is a great way to stay updated and also get involved without having to feel like you don't matter.
3. Go vote! If you don't vote, don't complain. It doesn't take long and it's your country. What the hell could be more important than where you live? Stop being an apathetic lazy butt and voice your opinion, or shut the hell up. I have no time for people who complain about things going wrong in their country and turn around and refuse to vote. 

Closing statement, how did you think cleaning up after bush would go? What Obama has done for those curious.

End rant here. I am always happy to share my sources and debate with people. Be honest. I can take it.

Feeling awful

I don't know what I caught but today I have felt like absolute crap. It started when I went in to donate plasma and continued throughout the day. Tonight I feel somewhat better. I proceeded to eat mac-n-cheese and peppermint candy, however. Let's just leave it as that didn't help much.

I work in the morning and I have student senate things I need to accomplish tomorrow, as well. I need to get better so I can complete my lists of tasks. Lets hope I can get more sleep soon and get everything done. Wish me luck. I promise my blog posts will be more interesting in the future.

2012 New Year's Resolutions

1. Exercise 
2. Blog regularly
3. Continue to change to a more green way of living
4. Read 50 books
5. Follow our budget
6. Be time efficient
7. Put in my best effort in my studies
8. Quit smoking
9. Stay positive
10. Novel

I'm not giving them the descriptions I did last year. These are mainly for me to keep myself accountable. All of these things will help me be better in my life and I need to do them. There are many more things I could add to the list but I think 10 things is enough for now and the rest can be placed under my ultimate goal list. I have already started on some of these and I will continue to work on all of these throughout the year.

2011 Resolutions

Looking back to my last year's resolutions, I can already see that I failed to accomplish some of them. This only means I will have to work much harder to achieve said goals this year. I decided to go over them now, see where my progress is, and then I can work towards setting my next years resolutions.

1. Go to class and study. I think that I achieved this. My previous lack of motivation and focus were replaced in 2011. I managed to make the Dean's List for the first time spring semester. I ended my summer semester with A's across the board and this past fall I got 5 A's and 1 B. I am actually fairly surprised, but I made it to class on time every day, minus a couple sick days near the end. I also worked hard on making study guides and keeping up with all the required reading that needed to be done. I think all of these things helped me develop better study skills and achieve my goal. I definitely left room for improvement, though. I know that I wasn't performing my best and that is where I should be at. I want to make it to a good grad school and get a good career that I'm happy in, for that I need to work harder.

2. Convert to a Vegan lifestyle. I lasted about 3 or 4 months as a vegan. I have to say, giving up cheese was probably the hardest part. Nutritional yeast and some of the soy/rice/veggie cheeses can come close, but it is just not the same. I did continue as a vegetarian. I was not strict about it, I had meat at my friend's wedding and then again in November. I have been eating meat since. :( I will get back on track again. My main concern is cost at this point. I do want to lessen my meat intake overall, I just need to find an effective way to do it.

3. Go Green. I started recycling anything and everything that my local recycling center would accept. Everyone in the family got into it. I also did my best to use less water, conserve energy sources by shutting and unplugging them when not in use, and cut consumption of resources. I think I've been doing good in this area. I continue to try and improve on this all the time.

4. Pay Bills on Time and Follow my Budget. This got better. However, I failed to do well in this area. I succumb to consumerism just as much as some of my other fellow Americans. It's awful. I need to work on this. I am still in debt, I still have bills I need to pay, and I still have bad credit. This will be one to carry on into 2012.

5. Exercise 4 Times a Week. Yeah... let's just say this lasted a month and then I gave up. I'm going to leave it at that without trying to make an excuse for it. Let's be honest, there is no excuse, I'm just lazy and hate exercising.

6. Write a Novel. I got to about 34,000 in the Camp NANOWRIMO challenge. I however stopped trying and fell off the writing wagon. I did get the book Ready, Set, Novel by Lindsey Grant, Tavia Stewart-Streit and Chris Baty for Christmas, from laura_megan. I think that it will help me get focused on my novel writing this year. I hope for the best.


7. Blog twice weekly. This didn't happen, I don't know why, I just failed. I signed up to do the Ultimate Blog Challenge this month though. I hope that kicks my but into gear.


8. Quit Smoking. I got close, but no cigar. I will be attempting this one again. It's bad for me all around. I know this. I will do it. 


9. Be Clutter Free. In August I managed to get rid of a TON of our old stuff in a garage sale. I didn't get rid of everything unfortunately. My garage is still full of unneeded things and so is my house, but it's significantly less full. This year I will get rid of the rest, hopefully.


10. Rigorous Honesty. I did what I could, but I still held some things back. I don't want to go into depth with this one right now, but I think that I can expand on this with a different idea in 2012. I'm just going to leave it there because it's become sort of a soft subject with me. 


Next blog will be of 2012 resolutions. Stay tuned.

Inspired.

Take a step back. Fucking look at yourself. You are human. 

You are beautiful. You are so beautiful. 

And you can be anything. You can be everything.  

Don't hate everyone because someone broke your heart, Or because you parents split up, or your best friend betrayed you ,your father hit you, the kid down the street called you fat, ugly, stupid, worthless.

Do not concern yourself with things you can not control.  

Cry when you need to , then let go when it's time. 

Don't hang onto painful memories because your too afraid to forget.

Let go of things that are in the past. Forget things that aren't worth remembering.

Stop taking things for granted. 

Stop taking life for granted. Live for something. Live for yourself. 

Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love. Fall out of love. 

Do this over and over until you know what it really takes to love someone. 

Question things. 

Tell people how you really feel.  

Sleep under the stars.  

Create. Imagine. Inspire. 

Share something wonderful.  

Meet new people.

Make someone's day.  

Follow your dreams. 

Live your life to its full potential.  

Just live dammit. Let go of all the horrible things in your life and just fucking live.

And one day, when your old, look back with no regrets.

-Unknown 

This was found on my work computer desktop while I was cleaning it up. It inspired me and I hope it does the same for you. These truths are something that I like to preach to friends and family and even acquaintances at times. All too often though, I find myself convincing myself to do the same. Some days it's easy and on others... well... it's harder than hell. Focusing on many of these things (along with great friends and some family), is what brought me out of an awful depression. Positivity and living life to the fullest potential I can manage is now my routine focus. Some of the shit is hard to let go of, but slowly the bad is disappearing and being filled with new things that are worth my time and energy. I'm starting to feel like a real live grown-up finally at 25 years old, rather than the grown-up stuck in a kid's body that I lived as before. I am inspired. I will stop taking life for granted. I will just fucking live, dammit.

 

Blowing Away in North Dakota

Mondays. I'm not sure who decided to start them, but there is rarely anything good that happens on them. Yesterday was Memorial Day, and as I started my wonderful trip to work I knew it was going to be an awful Shakey Monday. The sun had finally found it's way from behind the clouds and the bearable humidity quickly switched to hard to breath, heat. Working in any kind of heat at Kroll's is hell. The hot grills, tin walls, neon lights, small space, and the awful ventilation system makes everyone who works there a hot, sweaty mess. Of course a lot of the staff started their Shakey Monday shift being crabby or having bad attitudes, so the heat mixed in with it made for tension and outbursts. There was only one slightly bad incident, which made my life easier, though if it wasn't for the storm later.. I have a feeling that, too, would have come back to blow up in my face. (On a side note, especially if you work in the food industry, leave your personal bullshit at the door when you enter work. I don't care where you're from or who you think you are, you need to do your best to maintain civility with your coworkers. There are plenty of people I've worked with that I do not like and annoy me, but I don't go off screaming and yelling at them whenever they get on my nerves. Show some tact and responsibility, this is your job not a high school.)

At around 8pm, clouds started to get darker and quickly changed the sky to pitch black. It really doesn't start to get dark until 9pm or so, this was a concern that big thunderstorms were on their way, but really, I've never been one to freak out about bad weather (I live in Fargo, for fucks sake). The Doppler showed a big red cloud heading straight for us, and when rain started to sprinkle I decided it would be a good time to shut the windows in my van. Kroll's went into a mild state of panic, customers were running to get to go cups for their shakes and pay for their meals. A few of the servers were more than freaked out and the rest were a little shaken up along with the other people on the clock. While I was shutting the windows in the van (and practically being blown over by the strong winds picking up), the sirens sounded. I shut and locked my van, then ran to call home. This is the one and only point that I came close to freaking out. After several attempts of not getting Kevin on the phone, I began shaking and got slightly afraid. Standing outside watching the storm, he finally picked up and simultaneously I watched the power go out in Wal-Mart and soon after, Kroll's was out as well. I told Kevin to get the kids down to the basement, his response being "What? Why?" In which I responded "Because there's a fucking tornado coming!" loudly and in front of customers. I can't say I cared much at that point though, I was just happy to get him on the phone and know my kids would be safe.

I hung up my phone and one of the girls approached me in a panic, tears already streaming down her face and barely able to make out words. I ushered the seven girls outside to the already open tornado/bomb shelter/storage space. I held the door open so the 70+ mph winds did not slam it shut. I was drenched in minutes from sideways rain that was coming down in sheets. Between the wind making it hard to breath, the weather plus the power outage making it too dark to see, and the rain pushing messing with my contacts so I was constantly forced to blink, I had to make my way down the ladder after the first 8 or 9 people had made it down safely. Luckily, I knew my manager was coming up on the tail of people and was confident he could get the rest of the people down safely.

In my five years of working, I had never been down in the shelter/storage place at Kroll's Diner. For some reason I expected to be able to stand eventually, but unfortunately it stays 4ft. tall the entire way through. It's close to the size of the entire restaurant, however, which was a major surprise to me. The initial getting everyone down there took some time, all the while the first bunch I had brought down were scared and shaken up. I quickly discovered I did not have enough arms and shoulders to comfort my staff... many of which are my friends beyond work. I also had to try to make sure everyone was still getting down okay, and with little light (until my manager appeared at the end with the flash light to save the day) it was a challenge to say the least. I got my growing half sitting down, doing my best to make rounds to comfort the shaken up staff and one of my regular customers who doesn't move around well as is. People started getting a hold of their loved ones that they were worried about and I made my way to check on the other side before going out with one of my best friends B to assess the storm. Between him, me and the manager we managed to each get a dry cigarette and working lighter. I threw my wet ones out into the wind in a small fit of anger (I'm not one to litter, ever so please forgive me) and B went to make sure there was no one left in front of the building. It seemed eerie, the rain had died down and the wind was swirling, the sky was a bright green and yellow. It was so bright that we could see across the parking lots, where we couldn't see hours before.

We weren't down there for long and we ended up crawling back out. We had 5 servers, 2 shake makers, a hostess, my manager, 1 dishwasher, 2 regulars, 4 customers, my best friend B (who had gotten off work around 8:20pm, got out of the shower at his trailer and heard the sirens), his girlfriend A, their 2 cats in a carrier, and I down there. The other dishwasher and cook on duty left soon after the sirens went off to get their families in the trailer park to safety. Once upstairs, some of us started helping clean the place up with the manager and get stuff put away and covered with the security light to guide our way. One of the girls lost her supper due to being so shaken up, I stayed away from cleaning that up, luckily another server was there to save the day. Slowly everyone started to head home after a half an hour, I was one of the last to leave besides my manager and the amazing overnight server who still showed up for her shift only a minute late. Once my phone was dry I was able to check on my daughter and some of my friends who I hadn't heard a report on. I put my soaked shoes back on and headed home to tell Kevin the tale and play a couple games of Star Trek Collector's Edition Scrabble (which I won at the 2010 Core Con and hadn't opened yet) by lantern light. The power stayed out until we went to bed around 4:30 am. I'm not sure when it came back on, but it was back by 8am when the house got up.

I was really amazed at how much Kroll's is still like a family. We definitely don't all get along all the time, some of us never will.People have dated each other, hated each other, loved each other and everything in between there. The ones that worked under Don, to the ones that have only been there 6 months to 2 years, all of us have a bond and whether they annoy us or piss us off on a regular basis, in the end we all end up taking care of each other. I know for a fact we stick up for each other, outside of work problems especially. I'm glad that wasn't my last night spent there as it was supposed to be originally. I have 2 more shifts this weekend to spend saying goodbye to that wretched place and all the people I love inside of it. I'm sure there will be a festival of my finally getting out of their hair (I expect "Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead" and similar songs to be sang in my wake). I will miss Kroll's Diner, that chapter of my life, though I think this may be the only place I'll ever admit it.

Long time coming...

Remember that New Year's resolution I made to blog a couple times a week at least? Yeah, uh, I guess I skipped that one. Sorry. I did however, make it to class almost everyday and ended the semester with all A's and B's. It was definitely a very busy semester though. Now it is over and I am preparing for my light summer courses. I now work in the Political Science and Economics Department at MSUM. It's a fun but rather boring job. I don't do much other than sit at a desk to be available should anyone call or decide to drop by with questions, etc. I sometimes get to work on little projects or copy large amounts of items for professors in the departments. The most moving around I do is going down to get the mail every day and occasionally dropping off the mail later on. There is no doubt in my mind that it will continue to drive me a little crazy in these beginning weeks but I'm sure I'll adapt soon enough.

Since I've started the new position I must point out that I am not going to try and work full time at Kroll's, take 15 credit semesters, work at the school, and try to make time in there for sleep and my children. No, instead I have decided that my 5 year long affair with Kroll's Diner has come to an end. My last day there will be June 5th. I'd be lying if I said that I'm completely happy to be rid of the place, but I'm not devastated either. There is an attachment I will have to that place and I have made some friends there that will be with me long after I leave there forever. As far as serving the general population, supervising a sub-standard sometimes downright idiotic serving staff, handling a spineless boss, and working 14 hour shifts with no break, that I won't miss.

Besides the changes in my job life, I have changed my major to Political Science and kept my minor in writing. While going over essays in the beginning of the semester for peer reviews, I decided that I did not want to spend the rest of my life analyzing essays written about books that I cherish and use to escape the depths of reality. I chose my second love, political history and theory. I'm going to be emphasizing in Strategic Studies and learning all the fun things about the history of war, designing and tearing down governments and then reconstructing them from the dirt. So far it has been great and I am getting to express a side of me I thought was lost a long time ago.

I'm finding and reshaping myself bit by bit. I am continuing to try and find who I am and who I want to be, of course I don't think this process will ever truly end. My children are growing and always finding ways to put a little more sunshine in my life, even on those days I don't think anyone could. Kevin and I... well... we're working on it and hopefully someday our relationship will be what it should be, on both sides, but for now we are civil and I'd like to say we are becoming friends again and as always we are developing into a dynamic team of parents outside of the personal bullshit. I almost forgot to mention that I was medicated this year. Diagnosis ADHD, I am now taking Adderall XR. It's not awful, but I hope to find ways to live without medication and work with the attention disorder, as I did with the depression. I have also managed to lose 33 pounds since January..... I think that's all I have to update on so far, if I forgot anything I'll be sure to write it in later. For now, I am going back to reading and from here I promise to take a little bit more time to write in this thing and finally put some new recipes in my other one. Bugz and Fishez to those who stick by this silly unupdated thing.