Late nights

I haven't been able to sleep a lot lately. My night insomnia is back and rearing it's head at me. It's been making me drag during the day, accomplishing little to nothing and I hate it. This new diet has me losing weight quickly and i like being able to finally see results, but it would be nice to find a medium. You know, get rid of everything bad in my life all at once. I know I can't though, I have to take it all one step at a time. Next step is working out on a regular basis. I'm hoping that will get my energy up during the day and down at night. After that, I want to get my teeth fixed. I went into the dentist and found out prices, now I just need to come up with the money. Smoking is my biggest vice by far, followed closely behind by my love for the taste of alcohol and the party life. I'm 24 years old and probably should be out having lots of fun at this age, but I have 3 kids and they should not have to suffer because I still have these cravings.

School is ugh, school. It's hard these two classes. I want so badly to do well and achieve something, I mean I didn't even make it all the way through high school. I need to do this. I need to have something I can be proud about myself for. I want a career, I want a PhD. I will do this. Hopefully my generals will be over soon and I can dive into my major classes. That will bring out the fun in all of this. Blah!

This is kind of a late night rambling with no real point. I'm sorry for those of you who actually take the time to read it, I have no purpose in this blog other than to ramble. Aidan and Serenity will be home Saturday. I can't wait to see them again. I don't know if I've felt them being gone, but I definitely do miss seeing their faces. I feel like such a horrible parent sometimes. Nothing is getting accomplished, someone needs to light a fire under me. I feel like a robot or a zombie most days. What the hell happened to me? When I find out I'll let you know.