Ain't No Sunshine When He's Gone

This past Friday, Justin "Lug" Butler passed away at 9:58 am. It's strange when you lose someone and you don't realize how much they impacted your life, until they're gone. I bawled in bed last night for hours. I am going to miss that man so much. 24 is too young, and as Josh said, "I know now what they mean when they say the good die young". There was a line out the door at the funeral home just to come say goodbye to him. This man has touched so many lives. I wish I would have been able to be there more in the past few years. It's because of him I want to move back to Saint Paul. I need to go home, to all the people I love. I miss them so much. I don't want to start crying again so this entry will be short and sweet. Justin, you are my sunshine and they won't take our sunshine away. I'll see you when I get there and keep you in my left titty for the rest of my life.

Writing

I have so many things in my head but, lately it seems like nothing is coming out of me. I want so badly to write and place creativity into words. I want to write a novel, a book, a story, a poem, another character, a blog... something. I want to write. It's what I do and it's one of the few things in life that makes me... happy. I don't want to write a snippet, or anything of the sorts. I just want to put something onto paper and publish it or just be proud of it. There's so many things in this life that I want to accomplish though, and I'm unsure that there will be enough time to do them. I need to get the motivation and just get them all done. I need to accomplish something. I have the need for that feeling.

I think I will start small. Tomorrow, after my last final of the semester, I am going to clean the living room and do laundry. Somewhere in the middle of that, I am going to cancel cable television and then I will pick up my daughter. While my daughter is here, I am going to make it a point to spend quality time with her. We can play a game, or just read books. I want to enjoy that time and indulge in every moment I have with her at my house. After that, the sky is the limit. Maybe if I am away from the computer and accomplishing the small tasks that I seem to ignore everyday, I will get inspiration to write something. I need to write and I need to fulfill my other duties in life, be a good mom, and learn how to live. Then, and only then, when I have accomplished all those things, then is when I think the writing will come to me. No more procrastination on daily life, that is my new goal.